Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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