i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
