I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
