Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
