i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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