It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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