Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
