Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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