remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
