It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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