I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
