Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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