Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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