There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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