He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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