he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
