K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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