Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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