dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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