All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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