I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
