i would punch a child for taco bell
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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