some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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