how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
