Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
