The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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