tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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