I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
