Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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