We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
