Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
