I feel like abortions should bother me more
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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