dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
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He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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