We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
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Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
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He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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