can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
