you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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