I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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