I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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