Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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