do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
