I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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