I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
