i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
