so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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