Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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