Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize