I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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