Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
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all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
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We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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