every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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