Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
