Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
