Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
