Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
