in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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