Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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