So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
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So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
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On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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