My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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