ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
