She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
