Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
