And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
