Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
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There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
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The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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