i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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